This last week was full of opportunities to experience difficult emotions, such as denial, anger, sadness, depression, guilt, abandonment (ah, there is a childhood wound that may surface in subsequent writings), etc. I felt every stage of grief, except for that of ‘bargaining’; at least on a conscious/aware level. My experience as resulted in the awareness that the stages of grief are not always exhibited in a particular order; I experience each multiple times, and in various, mixed, sequences. Not desiring ‘acceptance’ to feel “left out” of this entry, I shall share that I have reached the stage of acceptance over Caesar’s ‘return home’ at least fifty times during the last seven days!
One purpose of my first blog/journal (not sure what to call it yet) entry is to share one particular experience from today’s one-week anniversary. I spent the day, and the majority of this last week with Caesar’s collar fashioned into a bracelet, which I wore on my right wrist. This morning I visited a Spiritual center I am familiar with for a meditation, reading, and prayer that initiated at 12:15 p.m. (occurs daily). Following the conclusion of the reading I spent time alone in continued mediation. Transition from my time of meditation to prayer, I grasped Caesar’s identification tag, which is attached to the collar/make shift bracelet, with my left hand. Holding his name, and in a sense his essence/Being, I prayed for some sort of message or sign to be provided to me, related to my beloved Caesar.
Still grasping Caesar’s identification tag with my thumb and index finger from my left hand, I asked that a message on how Caesar was doing be provided to me, in the form of one of the scripts. Departing the room I reached in and pulled three scripts. 1) for my dear friend I would be meeting later, 2) for myself, and 2) to me about my little buddy Caesar.
Shortly after pulling the three scripts I met my friend for coffee and conversation. I took one of the three scripts and slide it across the table. “Here you go; free of charge!” A second script was pulled from the left inner jacket breast pocket, and read; this one was for me. Finally, the moment had come. I was ready, wanted, and perhaps believed it was time for me to hear about Caesar. I shared with my dear friend my prayer and that this last, unbound script, was going to be a message about my liberated teacher of unconditional love. Sliding off the band, I unraveled the script and lay it across the table. Following is a photograph of the message from/about Caesar.
Blessings and Love!